To the Most Disappointing Target Shopper Ever

September 26, 2012

Dear Woman Standing in Line behind Us in Target Who Refuses to Say Hi to My Child:

Here’s the thing: we can both see you, my daughter and I, because our shopping cart is less than 5 feet away from your shopping cart and we do not understand, my daughter and I, why you would stand there Awkwardly Ignoring her little 12-month-old advances of friendship. She has said Hi to you approximately 10 times in the last 2 minutes and she has tried waving and now she is dancing and leaning her head to one side like she does when she really likes someone and really wants them to smile at her and she is smiling at you and showing you all six of her funny, crooked little baby teeth.

Is that it? Are you afraid? Have you literally been “once bitten” and are now “twice shy”? She will not bite you. She cannot reach that far and anyway she would rather chew on the cart handle or wave at you or dance with you or say Hi to you because it is her One Real Word and she does not say it to everyone, she says it to some people and she has chosen now, here, in this checkout line, to say it to you.

I’m sure that you have Big Important Things going on in your life and that right now, you need to take these five minutes standing in this line to think about Those Things. Maybe you are having a bad day. Maybe you are obsessing over whether or not your Unfortunately Glittery T-shirt goes with your Somewhat Faded Black Leggings. Maybe you’re trying to decide if you really need to touch up your roots. Maybe you’re just trying to decide which Trashy Magazine to buy. All of that is debatable, but what is not debatable is that you are ignoring my daughter.

She does not know that you are ignoring her.

I know that you are ignoring her.

I know that you are ignoring her and I am making eye contact with you and when I raise my eyebrow at you like this what I am really saying is Who the hell ignores a baby? And I suppose, perhaps, maybe it is possible that you are not ignoring her. Maybe you are deaf or you don’t speak English, but even then, Woman in Line behind Us, she is waving, waving, waving and that is universal and that is so fervent and earnest that it would break your heart to see it.

If you had a heart.

For the love of god, woman, just wave at the kid.




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